Coping with Invasive In-laws
Establishing roles for grandparents
Now that you've set up some ground rules, the next step is to get your in-laws involved in their new role as grandparents. You'll soon realize they have a lot to offer and involving them early is to everyone's benefit. They may be able to help out with babysitting, or just offer support when you need it. And research shows children who have strong relationships with their grandparents benefit socially, emotionally and intellectually. Here are some ways you can help them develop that bond:
- Involve grandparents early so they feel relaxed with your child right from the start.
- If your in-laws are struggling at first, offer gentle suggestions, or demonstrate how your baby likes to be held, burped, fed, etc.
- Visit often and make excursions to grandma and grandpas' house into a big deal that everyone looks forward to.
- Pick your battles–don't criticize everything your in-laws do, but if there's something you feel strongly about, let them know.
- Show your appreciation for the help they give you and remind them how important they are in their grandchild's life.
- As your child gets older, involve him in his grandparents' hobbies, whether it's cooking or gardening–this is a great way to create a special bond between your child and his grandparents.
- Help your child keep in touch with regular phone calls, emails or letters. Sharing photos and artwork and creating a family tree are also great ways to strengthen the relationship.
Meet our expert:
Armin Brott is an accomplished author, speaker and leading authority on fatherhood and families. His six parenting books, including the recently released Fathering Your School Age Child, have sold millions. Brott writes a nationally syndicated column, "Ask Mr. Dad," and has appeared on hundreds of radio and television shows. For more information visit www.mrdad.com.
