Temper Tantrums By Age – How to Deal
Handling Temper Tantrums: 18 months to about 2.5 years
Why Temper Tantrums occur:
As your toddler gets closer to two years, it will take more than simple distraction to ease a temper tantrum. Depending on how parents and caregivers have reacted to tantrums in the past, toddlers can begin to use acting out as a way to manipulate. "Tantrums are more purposeful with older toddlers," says Urquhart. Your child learns: If I do this, you respond this way. If you respond with something positive, your child will use future tantrums as a tool to get what she wants.
How to Best Handle a Temper Tantrum:
Avoid any positive reinforcement of a meltdown. "Don't offer candy or a cookie if she stops and don't give her what she wants," says Urquhart. It's best to give temper tantrums as little attention as possible. If you're at home, you may try saying, "When you're done, we'll move on," and let the tantrum take its course. "If you're in public, put yourself in a situation where you have time for the tantrum to play out," says Giachero. If you can leave a store, leave, and return after the tantrum has ceased.
Give your child the power of choice to help her determine the outcome. Try saying, "It looks like you're having a hard time being calm, do you need to sit down for a while or do you need some help?" Or leave a situation and say: "When you're calm you can come back." "When you provide choice you empower your child," says Ciardulli. This not only helps end the current tantrum, but it can help prevent future tantrums from occurring.
Above all, you need to be firm with your child. Explain child-appropriate expectations ahead of time and set boundaries. If your child has a temper tantrum while you're out - threaten to leave if she doesn't stop, then follow through. Once you give into a tantrum once, you are confirming to your child that acting out is a good way for her to get what she wants.
