Surviving Toddler Power Struggles
Gauging your reaction
As your child screams his demands at you, you may feel overwhelmed, embarrassed or angry. You probably increase the intensity of your reaction because you know what's coming: a totally out-of-control temper tantrum. So why doesn't the arguing end when you say, "stop it now?"
When a parent increases the intensity of her reaction to stop a power struggle, it can be scary for their child. Toddlers and preschoolers tend to revert back to a slightly younger age when they were really emotional, causing a power struggle to get bigger, or morph right into a frightened tantrum.
The other thing that could happen is due to immature understanding. A young preschooler can view a parent's reaction as a form of teaching–your child is still learning and your reaction is one of the things teaching him. They may misinterpret your reaction as, "Oh, so this is how you're supposed to behave" and then they model your behavior right back at you.
